Yes, Counselor ... I See the Difference

Good thing I didn't have time yesterday...this post would have been entirely different. After a much needed sleep-in, something happened that sent my emotions on a downward spiral. I was able to pull it together and recovered with a devotional with the kids...and then school. After school, Braylon cleaned the kitchen fan and I started baking, Bradley moved boxes away from the fireplace and Brenton built a fire. We shared a four pack of Totino's pizzas, had some famous white chip chocolate cookies, and movie night.

 

Yesterday, I took my adult son to work and right as we were getting there, he said, "My counselor told me to show you a picture...so I'm going to show it to you. She said if your mom can't see the difference in the person you were then and the person you are now..."

 

I broke in..."Yes, I've seen a difference. What is your counselor's name?"

 

He answered and said, "She's really nice."

We arrived and he showed me the picture and said, "That was four months ago."

 

I said, "I've seen it...you were using in my house then and now you aren't. I am very proud of you and I told you that recently."

 

He got out. As I drove away, my blood started boiling.

 

'Yes, Counselor; I see the difference...and a picture may be worth a thousand words, but it certainly does not reveal the rest of the story.'

 

Have you endured the wrath of an adult child you love and had done everything you could to help - but couldn't or wouldn't continue to provide for according to their demanding terms - after having done everything they had asked for weeks? Have you felt the humiliation and heartbreak of an inmate walking out on a visit that you just drove 15 miles to get to? Not just once, but twice. Have you felt the sadness of being shut out and ignored as punishment for taking other family members to visit that wanted to go? Have you forgiven and continued to love when it hurt? Have you taken that adult child into your home because they had nowhere else to go? Have you gone out of your way and put your personal plans aside to hopefully see someone else succeed? Have you continued to focus on positive things and overlooked negative - hoping and praying that things would change? Have you ever been told that you are hated? Have you ever been yelled at, cussed at, and disrespected in front of your minor children? Has someone ever threatened your child? Has someone ever said that they hated your child - and to drive the point home, had no love for them? Do you have children? Have you ever had to ask or tell someone to leave your house - that they are no longer welcome there? That has nothing to do with love by the way... Have you ever considered what you would do if you did and they refused to go? Have you ever had to weigh decisions that will affect a person's life and freedom (or lack of) for years to come...and try to make the right one?  Have you been slandered publically with lies and/or twisted truth...repeatedly? Have you sacrificed financially and taken risk after risk to help someone who may say 'thank you' but shows no real appreciation or respect? We all know that actions speak much louder than words, Counselor.

 

I could go on, but I'm done for now. This is a mild taste of the rest of the story. It was written from a calm and peaceful place; not from the anger that I was feeling yesterday and honestly, feel every day. It is a daily choice:  Let the love of Jesus flow through me or let my feelings dictate how I act and what I do. Plenty of times, I slip up and my feelings come out. However, the person I am writing about is very seldom the recipient. I think that is solid evidence of God's grace in action.